Pete's Blog: On the Gospels and Genesis 1

Pete's Blog: On the Gospels and Genesis 1

training teacher's at boysville of michigan

Alvin Glombowski almost made it thru college on his own.. good thing 4 football!!

and it only took him 4 times to pass the test to get a license to fly..

he just couldn't remember what was " true or false".. he needed simpler questions

alvin glombowski / Holy Cross Brothers / Boysville of michigan

Holy Cross Brothers stand accused/ Boysville of michigan

I entrusted my children to an institution that in theory, at least, had a good reputation, but that clearly wasn't deserved," he said in an interview, stressing the grief and guilt he feels for having unknowingly put his son in harm's way.

His son had gone to a school authority to report the abuse while he was still a student, but nothing was done. A Gazette investigation shows he was not alone. Other young men have come forward, during their youth or much later, to report abuse by Les Frères de Ste. Croix (Holy Cross brothers) at Collège Notre Dame, at a Holy Cross school in Ontario, at a Montreal halfway house run by the brothers, and within a family circle.

Most of the abuse in the cases uncovered by The Gazette took place in the 1970s.

Some victims were persuaded to keep quiet, but in at least three cases that silence was bought - for as much as $250,000. A source close to the Holy Cross order estimates that in the past 20 years, half a million dollars was paid out to sexual abuse victims, half of which came from Collège Notre Dame funds.

The brothers have deep roots in Quebec - they started and own the college, as well as other schools, and own and operate St. Joseph's Oratory, the great domed church on Queen Mary Rd. that can be seen from much of the city.

The college was founded by the brothers in 1869 as a private boys high school that took in boarders, but the last brother to teach there left in 1997. The last director of the school to come from the order died in 2003. Today, it is a private co-ed high school with 1,600 students and the only two brothers still on the payroll work in maintenance and audio-visual. The order still has a strong presence on the board of directors and its director, Yvon Lafrenière, is a layperson who has worked for many years at the college.

- - -

When René Cornellier Sr.'s wife died of breast cancer in 1967 at the age of 35, he sent Manon, Robert and their brother René, who was just 8 at the time, off to boarding school, where he believed they would receive more nurturing than he could give as a single parent.

René, the middle child, still fragile and vulnerable after the loss of his beloved mother, soon followed in his older brother's footsteps and attended Collège Notre Dame. The gothic, four-storey building standing in the shadow of St. Joseph's Oratory was known for its music program, as well as its science and sports activities. It was one of the first schools in the province to be equipped with a swimming pool and gym.

No one in the family had any inkling of what René had endured there. Robert, four years ahead of René at Collège Notre Dame, had heard stories of abuse, but never experienced any himself.

"He kind of seemed a bit lost in the world and couldn't find his way," their father said of René, who travelled the world and never really found his niche in life. "Now it's clear he was marked by that experience."

In his first letter to the school detailing what he'd allegedly endured, written from France in February 1993 and addressed simply to "the concerned authorities," René Cornellier Jr. alluded to a plan he and other students came up with in the 1970s to make their abuse public, but he said they were warned to keep it quiet by then director of educational services Brother Charles E. Smith.

"In this era, threats were effective," Cornellier wrote. "I know that the college was made aware of the problem a number of times, but silence was always maintained regardless of the cost.

"I think it's time that college authorities stop sticking their heads in the sand, either by sending recalcitrant brothers to the Third World, with results you're well aware of, or letting the years pass (scarring the affected children) or in handing out precious sums of money to shield the guilty."

One student who wanted to go public at the time with Cornellier later committed suicide in CEgep because of what he had experienced at Collège Notre Dame, according to a friend Cornellier lived with before his death in 1994. Another was killed in Mexico during an alleged botched drug deal.

After his first letter went unanswered by the college, Cornellier wrote a second months later and addressed it directly to Smith and the school's board of directors. He said he interpreted the lack of response as the college choosing to keep its eyes closed about abuse taking place with impunity over the years - a view that he said was confirmed when he learned Smith had recently been named general director of the college as well as president of its board of directors. Lafrenière, the college's current director, was director of educational services under Smith.

While those who abused Cornellier were now either retired or dead, he said he worried about current or future students whose parents went to great expense and sacrifice ("like my own") to entrust their children to the college.

Finally, in a third letter to provincial superior Raymond Lamontagne, the order's top religious brother in the province, Cornellier wrote that he was disturbed that Smith was the only one who wrote back to him and offered to speak to him "either out of compassion or fear," but Cornellier said he wouldn't accept the offer to talk, since it didn't come from the board. In his letter to Smith, Cornellier said he had no intention of suing his abusers "because no amount of money could repair the damage done, and my silence is not for sale."

In one of two letters he wrote to Cornellier in August 1993, Smith said he was anxious to speak with the former student, for their "mutual benefit and understanding."

Eventually, in about 1994, a committee was set up by the college at the request of the provincial superior to establish a policy to deal with sexual abuse and Smith was appointed chairman.

Approached this week at Le Grand St. Joseph, a large brothers' retirement home with a wrap-around porch in Chomedey, Smith was adamant that he had no recollection of Cornellier or any other allegations of sexual abuse while he was director at the college.

"I have no comment on those problems, if there were problems," he said, when asked about a $250,000 payout to a former student, the agreement for which was signed by Smith himself. Nor did he remember receiving letters from or writing letters to René Cornellier: "I have no memory of that. I'm not aware of that."

He referred all questions to the provincial superior, Father Jean-Pierre Aumont.

"I can assure you that the Congregation of Holy Cross acts with diligence and deals seriously with situations brought to our attention in which one of its members or employees has acted improperly," Aumont wrote in an email this week to The Gazette. "We have taken necessary steps and co-operated with authorities in the past when made aware of such situations."

Aumont said the order has been the target of intimidation and blackmail by a religious brother who recently left the Brothers of Holy Cross and who wasn't happy with the financial package he negotiated before his departure.

But documents obtained by The Gazette and interviews with victims and sources close to the order suggest that Brothers of Holy Cross wished to keep their alleged misdeeds quiet at all costs.

In 1978, a couple of years after Cornellier graduated, a boy whose name can't be published began high school at Collège Notre Dame. In his second year one of the brothers began showing him special attention, which led to sexual touching and oral sex. The pattern of sexual encounters continued over the student's high school years and beyond.

Reached at the order's Laval retirement home, Brother Olivain Leblanc responded curtly to Gazette queries about the abuse.

"It's all been dealt with and I'm not talking about it," he said, before hanging up.

The decision to make the payoff of $250,000 to this student, which appeared on the college's balance sheet as "payment for professional services," was made by Smith on Oct. 15, 1993, infuriating a layperson who had knowledge of the financial operations of the brothers and also had the power to sign cheques for the administration of the religious province.

"It should have been the congregation (the order) that paid," he said, pointing out that the college receives government subsidies of about $5 million annually. "You can't use the college's money to pay for what happened with one of the brothers."

Smith ordered the payout, despite instructions to the contrary from his superiors and despite the harm such a move could cause the order and college should it ever become public. Registration, which was to begin the same week the agreement was reached, might have also been affected had the news got out, those close to the order say.

In the fall of 1977, a year after Cornellier had graduated, another student, who did not want his name used in this story, said he approached Smith and told him about abuse he had experienced the previous school year.

"I remember he listened to me very attentively, and as soon as I finished, he thanked me and said I showed a lot of maturity," said the student, now 45 and married with children. "Then he asked me to be discreet.

"It was clear to me he didn't want me to do anything that would tarnish the reputation of the school."

Years later, in 1992, when the student's wife was pregnant with their first child, he once again approached Smith and said he wanted to speak to his abuser, and perhaps get an apology from him.

"He told me to put it behind me, and that I would never get what I wanted from (the abuser)," the former student said. "He said the man is sick psychologically and that the order was seeing that he was getting therapy."

Still not satisfied, the former student finally went to the police, who managed to dig up two other alleged victims of the same brother.

"When my son was born, I told him that when you see wrongdoing, you have to speak up," he said in an interview. "I couldn't ask him to do something without doing it myself."

There were more allegations of sexual abuse as the Brothers of Holy Cross silently wrung their hands about how best to keep the misconduct of some of their members quiet and in turn, protect not only their name, but the millions of dollars in the order's coffers. Often, when a religious brother was found to be a problem, he was moved, either to another province, to the United States for brief psychiatric therapy or to a mission in the Third World.

Most of the victims' allegations went nowhere. One brother was charged and acquitted in 2006 by Quebec Court Judge Rolande Matte because she said she could not find Brother Claude Hurtubise guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.

"There is nothing in the evidence to explain why three young boys who've become men, who don't know one another, for whom the only common denominator is that they had Claude Hurtubise as a teacher, are accusing him of committing indecent acts on them," she wrote. Hurtubise was also one of the brothers named by Cornellier as abusing him.

At the time of the abuse, the former student said, he told his mother, who was an actress, struggling to raise two sons on her own after their father left when the youngest child was just four.

"I was only 14 when I told her and my mother wasn't psychologically strong enough for that," he said. "She cried, that's all. She didn't know what else to do."

Hurtubise had no comment when contacted by The Gazette this week.

In 2004 email to one of the provincial councillors, the superior general in Rome, Father Hugh Cleary, wrote about abuse cases: "They are part of the human condition. They always have to be treated with delicacy and directness for the good of everyone concerned, particularly those who have been abused but also for the good of the perpetrator. They have their pain and human needs, too. ...

"I checked the files here and there is nothing serious about any cases regarding (Claude Hurtubise). There are other cases that were sent to (a brother) but no names are given. In that sense the files are clean and won't be an issue for any court hearings."

In 1996, Smith was replaced by Brother Raymond Lamontagne as director of the college. Lamontagne hired assistant director Jocelyn Morin on a five-year contract to "bring order" to the college. A layperson with experience in teaching and union organization, Morin had worked in the 1990s at another of the brothers' schools, Collège St. Césaire, southeast of Montreal.

In a recent interview at a St. Lambert café, Morin said he arrived at a school, now co-ed and no longer housing boarders, in freefall. Enrolment had fallen from a high of 1,250 students to 975 and Collège Notre Dame had a deficit of $1 million.

During his term, he built a surplus of $1 million. Morin also discovered some brothers were downloading hardcore kiddie porn and he put an end to it, and dismissed a brother in 1997 for groping a female student. The father of the student threatened to sue, but agreed not to if the brother was fired.

"The pedagogical department let me know that this type of complaint wasn't new when it came to Brother (Michel) Gauthier," Morin wrote in a memo for the file. The order then sent Gauthier for therapy in the United States.

"When he returned to Quebec, I warned him that he was not to do anything at the school that involved contact with students," Morin wrote.

"Knowing what I know now," he said, "I should have gone to the police. But I thought the community would clean themselves up. I was convinced, because they told me that if I had proof (of abuse), they would deal with it.

"It was all seen as normal by the brothers, which is even worse. It's like the Duplessis orphans or how we treated natives. It's disgusting. Is it normal to abuse a child? It's never been normal."

Vincent Grégoire, secretary general of Collège Notre Dame, said Lafrenière knew nothing about the $250,000 settlement made to the student, nor had he heard of any other cases of abuse at the school. He said Lafrenière dismissed Hurtubise, who was back on the school's payroll in 2003, when he became director in 2004. Grégoire, who was a student at the same time as Cornellier but didn't know him, said he never heard about abuse at the college.

"I wasn't a victim, nor were any of my friends victims," he said.

smontgomery@thegazette.canwest.com

Collège Notre Dame was founded by the brothers in 1869 with 24 students and was a boarding school exclusively for boys.

Today it has 1,600 students, None of the teachers are brothers. Michel Gauthier was the last brother to teach there, and he was fired in 1997 for sexually touching a female student.

The school is subsidized by the government, according to the number of students it has each year. In 2003-2004, for example, it received $3,421 for each of the 1,599 students enrolled, for a total of $5.5 million.

Up until the 1960s, more than 70 brothers lived in the school, which took in boarders until 1990. From its founding to the '80s, it was an exclusively male place, except for a few female teachers. When a brother retired, he was replaced by a layperson, since members of the order were aging and there were fewer new recruits.

Today, only two brothers work at Collège Notre Dame: one in maintenance and the other in audio-visual. But there are brothers on the board of directors, giving the Brothers of Holy Cross a say in the running of the school, such as hiring the director general, renovations, approval of financial statements and approving signatories to bank accounts.

Brothers of Holy Cross finances

In Montreal, the order has about $50 million in assets, including investments and property. Brothers got their money from three sources: income from investments, old age pension and provincial pension, and rent from Collège Notre Dame, which is about $350,000 a year. A year and a half ago, the brothers joined together with the province's Fathers of Holy Cross to create one entity worth close to $100 million.

They pay no income tax and get a 50-per-cent refund for GST and PST.

Donations, which don't amount to more than about $13,000 annually, go to the overseas missions.

Sexual abuse by the Brothers of Holy Cross ruined lives of victims

(special training required) ask patrick miron, or glombowski

2008-12-11


Sexual abuse by the Brothers of Holy Cross ruined lives of victims

The Montreal Gazette - December 6, 2008

Ruined Lives of Victims

by Sue Montgomery


Sexual abuse by the Brothers of Holy Cross wasn't confined to inside the brick walls of Collège Notre Dame. All of the brothers' victims The Gazette contacted recently are now grown men, largely destroyed by the trauma they suffered. Broken marriages, unemployment, drug and alcohol abuse are the legacies of a life marked by sexual abuse in the formative years. Here are some of their stories:

- - -

One of the most notorious brothers, from many accounts, was a brother who ran a halfway house, Maison Charlemagne, and a home for the disabled, Maison Durjarié, both in Montreal. He was known to abuse handicapped people and kept a young male lover for years at the order's expense. Now 88, the brother this week heatedly denied all allegations.

Yvan Sarrasin was warned, according to sources, about using petty cash to buy groceries and alcohol for the poor and addicted residents in exchange for sex.

One of those was Daniel Charest, who spent six weeks in 1979 at the halfway house run by Sarrasin. The religious brother had the power to refuse those staying there certain privileges, but also threatened to send people like Charest back to prison if they did not co-operate. The sessions, Charest said in a recent interview, lasted about 15 minutes and consisted of the brother touching their genitals, telling them to undress, then masturbating. For Charest, it was always when he needed something - food, money or alcohol, even though he was not supposed to drink as part of his probation.

In exchange, Sarrasin asked that he pull down his pants, let the brother touch him, then masturbate while the brother watched.

"He took advantage of my vulnerability, he used me," Charest said in a recent interview. "Just talking about that now brings up these horrible feelings in me, scars that therapy couldn't erase completely."

After he bought clothes, food or electronic equipment for those at the halfway house, Charest said, Sarrasin told them to keep the receipts, so he could be reimbursed by the order through his petty cash. But they weren't to spend too much, so as not to raise suspicions. Once Charest had left the house, he sporadically saw the brother between 1981 and 1997, when he needed things.

In July 1997, Sarrasin asked for suggestive photos of Charest, who had posed nude for American magazines in order to make some extra cash. The brother said he would use them to masturbate. Charest gave him five photos.

Sarrasin told him he had a night life, during which he cruised Ste. Catherine St. and Lafontaine Park. He would trade food, alcohol, money or clothes with young street boys, many of whom were drug addicts. He had kept a young, HIV-positive male prostitute by the name of Sami for 14 years, since the boy was 14. The brother referred to him as Bambi and the boy called him Papi.

Charest said when he went to the order's lawyer and told him what the brother was up to, the lawyer told him not to go to the authorities because no one would believe his word over the brother's.

Sources say the provincial superior at the time, Robert Réginald, was aware of the Sarrasin's behaviour, but aside from briefly taking away his car and credit cards, nothing was done to stop him. Yesterday, Réginald referred all questions to the present provincial superior, saying he was not aware of anything to do with the brother. And besides, he said, "if anyone took away his car or credit cards, that information is confidential."

In a telephone interview this week, Sarrasin admitted that for many years, he has had a friendship with Sami and with Charest, but insisted he helped them both by buying food, bus passes or paying rent.

Outraged at the allegations of sexual abuse, Sarrasin accused Charest of being a drunk who was trying to blackmail him.

"Did he tell you how much money I spent on him for food? How many times I picked him up off the street because he was loaded? Quelle affaire!"

The brother said he'd heard the rumours about other brothers, that there were "suspicions and maybe misdeeds, but the authorities knew about these things.

"But I'm telling you quite frankly that I feel completely innocent," he said. "If you mention my name in the paper, you will be accusing an innocent man."

-----


Patrick Bannan has been through binges with drugs and alcohol, suicide attempts and two marriages, trying to deal with the abuse he suffered at age 15 at the hands of Brother Julien Hétu, while attending the order's first English institution in Delhi, Ont., as a postulant.

Bannan, who had been raised a Catholic and had several relatives who'd become nuns, said that a week after arriving at the school, Hétu preyed on him.

"He would say things like 'this isn't wrong, this is natural'," said Bannan, his voice shaking with emotion. "I should've done more, I should've fought, but he was the principal of the school."

He said Hétu, who'd spent time in Africa working in the order's mission, told Bannan he preferred "little black boys."

"He drove me to the beach, then he started rubbing me, putting his hands on my privates, kissing me, hugging me and then performing oral sex on me and told me he hoped that I understood and hoped that I wouldn't mention this to anyone," Bannan said.

After eight or nine months, Bannan left, numbing himself to the aftershocks with drugs and alcohol.

Years later, in 1997, Bannan was watching television alone when a talk show came on about sexual abuse. He began to cry, as the pain he had tried to bury for 30 years came pouring out.

He immediately contacted lawyer Joseph Wilby and told him of the abuse he'd suffered. Wilby called the brothers in Montreal, only to be told there was no Julien Hétu. Bannan called himself, pretending to be a friend of Hétu and was put immediately in touch. But he never spoke to him. Instead, the lawyer for the brothers, Emile Perrin, and Wilby, met in Fredericton with Bannan. They cut a deal - $20,000 and Bannan wouldn't say another word about it.

"Réginald Robert, the provincial superior, called Emile Perrin and said I don't want any trouble from New Brunswick," said a source close to the brother's financial affairs.


Hétu, 80, reached at the brothers' large retirement home in Laval this week, said of the abuse and payoff allegations: "This is very sad that this is coming out right before Christmas."

He said the Brothers of Holy Cross had already dealt with his case by paying out "a large sum of money."

"I put it in the hands of the lawyer," he said. "I didn't deny it because the lawyer was looking after it and we didn't want a big court case."

Hétu said he was aware of other abuse cases involving fellow brothers, but said they were all handed over to the order's lawyer and dealt with.

He said all he did to Bannan was "a little bit of touching here and there," but when told how Bannan has been affected by the abuse, Hétu replied, "But what can we do?"

----


Between 1972 and 1979, Holy Cross Brother Gilles Côté, who taught in aboriginal reserves near Sept Îles, would head to the tiny fishing village of Cloridorme, in the Gaspé, to spend his summer breaks hanging out with his young nephew, Richard.

Richard's mother, Huguette Joncas, was thrilled that her son, who had a tempestuous relationship with his father, was spending his summers with a "saint," a religious man who would have a positive influence over her young son.

But several years later, in 2002, she discovered that while taking Richard camping, on trips to the east coast and teaching him how to paint and read sophisticated books, Gilles Côté was also sodomizing, masturbating and having oral sex with Richard.

It all came out when Richard caught his uncle with his hand down the pants of Richard's own three-year-old son. Overcome with anger, he went to the police and Côté was charged, tried, found guilty and sentenced to three years in prison in 2003. The judge noted at the time that he showed no remorse, and that Côté, who has now completed his sentence and is living in one of the brothers' retirement homes in St. Césaire, still posed a danger to children.

Richard Côté has been off work since his uncle's trial, living in an aunt's house since his wife left with their three children.

"He controlled me completely," he said, reached in the Gaspé, where he lives a broken, bankrupt man, divorced and shunned by most of his relatives. "He kept me from my parents, he controlled who I spoke with. When he took me camping, he slept with a gun next to him."

- - -

Where are the brothers now?

Gilles Côté lives in a brothers' residence called Maison St. Césaire in St. Césaire.

Claude Hurtubise lives in Maison Dujarié, on Jean Brillant St., near the oratory, with 10 other brothers and one priest, including Réginald Robert, a former director of Collège Notre Dame who is now responsible for the brothers' archives.

Living in a retirement and nursing home, the provincial infirmary Le Grand St. Joseph in Chomedey, Laval, are: Ulysse Hamel, Julien Hétu, Olivain Leblanc, and the brother who allegedly abused people in a half-way house and home for the disabled.

Charles Edward Smith, former director of Collège Notre Dame, is the superior of Le Grand Saint Joseph.

Gérard Dionne is the assistant provincial vicar, and lives in the Alfred Bessette house.

History of the order

The Brothers of Holy Cross began in France following the French Revolution. It then spread to North America, where its main role was teaching in schools and ministries. There are over 450 brothers in the U.S., and they founded the University of Notre Dame in Indiana, among other schools. Their numbers in Quebec are dwindling, with fewer than 60 brothers in the province, mainly in Montreal.

The order has missions in India, Bangladesh, Haiti and Brazil. Members take vows of poverty, celibacy and obedience.

Roots in Montreal

Alfred Bessette was born in 1845, and after a difficult life became a novice of the Brothers of Holy Cross in Montreal in 1870. He became known as Brother André, and was the doorman at Collège Notre Dame for 40 years. He had to wash the floors and lights and bring in the firewood.

Soon, the sick began showing up to pray to St. Joseph, and he eventually built the first small chapel in 1904 on the St. Joseph Oratory site; it quickly became too small, and was enlarged in 1908 and 1910.

But it was still too small - a large church was needed, and so in 1917 a crypt was inaugurated that could hold 1,000 people. In 1931, the economic crisis temporarily stopped construction of the church, but it was eventually finished in 1936.

Bessette died in January 1936 at the age of 92.

An English unit of the brothers was formed in 1943. They run parishes in the dioceses of Toronto, St. Catharines, Ont., Charlottetown and Edmonton.

Life of a brother today

The brothers are either appointed to a ministry such as half-way houses, working with people with AIDS or the handicapped - or told to go out and get a job, like teaching. Their salaries are returned to the province and put into a common pot. They receive $100 to $200 petty cash a month and their room, board and medical supplies are all taken care of. Vacations are paid for out of the common pot as well.

A small fraternity of four to 30 brothers live together in a house, and are provided with a cook and cleaning person.

"We were never preoccupied with Hydro or gas bills," said Wilson Kennedy, who was the last brother to enter the order and who left last year. "We were never worried like a regular person would be."

Noteworthy graduates

Former premier Maurice Duplessis, musician Gregory Charles, Hydro-Quebec president Thierry Vandal, anchorman Jean-Luc Mongrain, actor Jacques Lussier.

This article was found at:

http://www.montrealgazette.com/Ruined+lives+victims/
1040424/story.html
Posted by Perry Bulwer at 12:08 PM
Email This
BlogThis!
Share to Twitter
Share to Facebook
Share to Google Buzz

Labels: Catholic Church, child protection, clergy abuse, deception, endangerment, incest, pedophilia, psychological abuse, recovery, secrecy, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, sodomy, spiritual abuse, trauma
1 comments:
Anonymous said...
At Notre Dame High School in Sherman Oaks California, a Holy Cross Brother- Brother Brother Roberto, attempted to abuse me in 1965.
When I reported the crime I was kicked out of school. I was harassed by the brothers at school, who called me a liar and tried to intimidate me into saying it never happened. I was called repeatedly in to the Principal's office for verbal and mental abuse. I could not and would not recant WHAT HAD HAPPENED. Shame on the Brotherhood of the Holy Cross. I am no longer a practicing Catholic.

24 April, 2011 9:48 AM

Post a Comment



Newer Post Older Post Home
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Father Hardon Newsletter / boysville of michigan

Alvin glombowski is an example of a poorly educated guy/ but he "really-really" believes his lies, and his doctrune.

if education was easy..,.then ever-one would be "smart"

The H.C. Brothers really are a group of people that have been poorly educated.

james.. works of faith or works of the law..

be doers of the word not hearers only.. deceiving yourself..

roman catholic visitation are different then scripture,

Why is it that the Roman Catholic religion teaches something that is not allowed in scripture ??



there is a different jesus and a different mary in the roman catholic belief system that is a different gosple/ or teaching..

ther are plenty of spiritual manafestations that say they are "mary" the mother of Jesus..

you can see these mary manafestations all in mexico and other latan american countries.. activity honoring/worshiping this image

and religion makes a place for them.. so you call all fit in!!

what is a Lay Apostle.. ? any one of an "approved " religious training system.


A Letter From Anne, A Lay Apostle

Dear Reader, I am a wife, mother of six, and a Secular Franciscan.

At the age of 20, I was divorced for serious reasons and with
pastoral support in this decision. In my mid-20s, I was a single
parent, working and bringing up a daughter. As a daily Mass
communicant, I saw my faith as sustaining and had begun a journey
toward unity with Jesus through the Secular Franciscan Order or Third
Order.

My sister traveled to Medjugorje and came home on fire with the Holy
Spirit. After hearing of her beautiful pilgrimage, I experienced an
even more profound conversion. During the following year, I
experienced various levels of deepened prayer, including a dream of
the Blessed Mother in which she asked me if I would work for Christ.
During the dream, she showed me that this special spiritual work
would mean I would be separated from others in the world. She
actually showed me my extended family and how I would be separated
from them. I told her that I did not care. I would do anything asked
of me.

Shortly after, I became sick with endometriosis. I have been sick
ever since, with one thing or another. My sicknesses are always the
types that mystify doctors in the beginning. This is part of the
Cross and I mention it because so many suffer in this way. I was told
by my doctor that I would never conceive children. As a single
parent, this did not concern me as I assumed it was God’s will. Soon
after, I met a wonderful man. My first marriage had been annulled and
we married and conceived five children.

Spiritually speaking, I had many experiences that included what I now
know to be interior locutions. These moments were beautiful and the
words still stand out firmly in my heart.


But I did not get excited
because I was busy offering up illnesses and exhaustion.

I took it as
a matter of course that Jesus had to work hard to sustain me as He
had given me a lot to handle.



In looking back, I see that He was
preparing me to do His work. My preparation period was long,
difficult and not very exciting. From the outside, I think people
thought, man, that woman has bad luck.


From the inside, I saw that
while my sufferings were painful and long lasting,

my little family
was growing in love, in size and in wisdom, in the sense that my
husband and


I certainly understood what was important and what was
not important.


Our continued crosses did that for us.

Various circumstances compelled my husband and me to move with our
children far from my loved ones. I offered this up and must say it is
the most difficult thing I have had to contend with. Living in exile
brings many beautiful opportunities to align with Christ’s will.
However, you have to continually remind yourself that you are doing
that. Otherwise you just feel sad.


After several years in “exile,” I
finally got the inspiration to go to Medjugorje. It was actually a
gift from my husband for my fortieth birthday.


I had tried to go once
before, but circumstances prevented the trip and I understood it was
not God’s will. Finally, though, it was time and my eldest daughter
and I found ourselves in front of St. James church. It was her second
trip to Medjugorje.

I did not expect or consider that I would experience anything out of
the ordinary. My daughter, who loved it on her first trip, made many
jokes about people looking for miracles. She affectionately calls
Medjugorje a carnival for religious people. She also says it is the
happiest place on earth. This young woman initially went there as a
rebellious 14-year-old child, who took the opportunity to travel
abroad with her Aunt. She returned calm and respectful, prompting my
husband to say we would send all our teenagers on pilgrimage.

At any rate, we had a beautiful five days. I experienced a spiritual
healing on the mountain.


My daughter rested and prayed. A quiet but
significant thing happened to me. During my communions,


I spoke with
Jesus conversationally.


I thought this was beautiful, but it had
happened before on occasion so I was not stunned or overcome. I
remember telling others that communions in Medjugorje were powerful.
I came home, deeply grateful to Our Lady for bringing us there.

The conversations continued all that winter.



At some time in the six
months that followed our trip, the conversations leaked into my life
and came at odd times throughout the day.



Jesus began to direct me
with decision and I found it more and more difficult to refuse when



He asked me to do this or that. I told no one.

During this time, I also began to experience direction from the
Blessed Mother.



Their voices are not hard to distinguish. I do not
hear them in an auditory way, but in my soul or mind. By this time I
knew that something remarkable was occurring and Jesus was telling me
that He had special work for me, over and above my primary vocation
as wife and mother.



He told me to write the messages down and that He
would arrange to have them published and disseminated. Looking back,
it took Him a long time to get me comfortable enough where I was
willing to trust Him. I trust His voice now and will continue to do
my best to serve Him, given my constant struggle with weaknesses,
faults, and the pull of the world.

Please pray for me as I continue to try to serve Jesus. Please answer
"yes" to Him because He so badly needs us and He is so kind. He will
take you right into His heart if you let him. I am praying for you
and am so grateful to God that He has given you these words. Anyone
who knows Him must fall in love with Him, such is His goodness. If
you have been struggling, this is your answer. He is coming to you in
a special way through these words and the graces that flow through
them.

Please do not fall into the trap of thinking that He cannot possibly
mean for you to reach high levels of holiness.



As I say somewhere in
my writings, the greatest sign of the times is Jesus having to make
do with the likes of me as His secretary. I consider myself the B
team, dear friends. Join me and together we will do our little bit
for Him.

Message received from Jesus immediately following
my writing of the above biographical information:

You see, my child, that you and I have been together for a long time.
I was working quietly in your life for years before you began this
work. Anne, how I love you.




You can look back through your life and
see so many "yes" answers to Me. Does that not please you and make
you glad? You began to say "yes" to Me long before you experienced
extraordinary graces. If you had not, My dearest, I could never have
given you the graces nor assigned this mission to you. Do you see how
important it was that you got up every day, in your ordinary life,
and said "yes" to your God despite difficulty, temptation, and
hardship?

You could not see the big plan as I saw it. You had to rely
on your faith.

Anne.


I tell you today, it is still that way. You
cannot see My plan, which is bigger than your human mind can accept.
Please continue to rely on your faith as it brings Me such glory.
Look at how much I have been able to do with you simply because you
made a quiet and humble decision for Me.



Make another quiet and
humble decision on this day and every day, saying, "I will serve
God." Last night you served Me by bringing comfort to a soul in
pain. You decided against yourself and for Me, through your service
to him. There was gladness in heaven, Anne. You are mine. I am yours.
Stay with Me, My child. Stay with Me.

-- Anne, A Lay Apostle